sparrows

Matthew 10:29-31 (New International Version)
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

I overslept this morning. By almost an hour. I was out the door by 8 a.m. on the dot. (Technically, my workday starts at 8). I wasn't concerned about being late; I live about 12 minutes from my office, and we're often "late."

Yet, when I drive, I tend to get this primal urge to drive faster and slicker than anyone else on the road. I turned my mom's SUV onto 15th street, headed north towards the freeway on-ramp. There are 2 stoplights to contend with in the 4-block stretch before hitting the on-ramp. Betwixt stoplight A and stoplight B, there was a sparrow perched on the road, in my lane. The dapper little fellow in his brown and white feathers was pecking away at some unnameable substance, happily ignorant of the traffic headed his way. We've all been there. Driving and seeing a bird or five scratching for food in the roadway. They seem determined to stay put, only to take wing and sprint out of harm's way at the last moment. We've seen this; we expect them to fly to safety of their own accord. Yet we've also seen the aftermath flattened against the pavement. The aftermath of when an avian beast hasn't been fast enough. This sparrow in my path seemed determined to join the latter group of birds.

But I slowed down. I almost stopped completely. My heart hurt at the very idea of crushing that tiny creature. I irritated the man driving behind me. I saw the look on his face through my rear-view mirror. But I, emily rose, will never intentionally run over something when I know it's within my power to NOT do so. Simultaneously the above quoted verse popped into my mind. Which got me thinking... what if bleeding hearts like myself are obeying an actual wish of God by sparing the sparrows?

I even considered blogging about this might-be-revelation as I sat at the second stoplight. Then dismissed that thought as egomaniacal. (I tend to question whether my thoughts on life are indeed in line with the Divine.) But then a "funny" thing happened. As the light turned green and I crossed Grand Avenue, there was another sparrow, pecking away mid-lane. And this sparrow was as stubborn or naive or blind as the last, for again I was forced to choose between slamming the brakes or running the wee bird over. I slammed the breaks. The driver behind me sped around into the next lane with a look of exasperation. But again, I knew I was acting in character. I do not run over animals. And I have a particular affinity with sparrows, given my tendency to fear. They are symbolic of hope, safety, well-being to me.

So...maybe bleeding hearts like me ARE part of how God spares the sparrows. God made us...He loves us...and he fills us with love to share with others to point them to Him...which is guaranteed joy and completion for any human soul...